{"id":1909,"date":"2002-01-03T19:49:00","date_gmt":"2002-01-03T18:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.grayblog.co.uk\/?p=1909"},"modified":"2002-01-03T19:49:00","modified_gmt":"2002-01-03T18:49:00","slug":"why-i-need-a-girlfriend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grayblog.co.uk\/index.php\/2002\/01\/03\/why-i-need-a-girlfriend\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I Need A Girlfriend"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"nochoice\">Why I Need A Girlfriend<\/span> (or maybe a domestic help) (number 390346934897 in a series):<\/p>\n<p>Ironing. I need someone to do my ironing. It&#8217;s not that I don&#8217;t like ironing. I actually quite enjoy it &#8211; it has a gently therapeutic quality.<br \/>\nBut I am <span class=\"choice\">crap<\/span> at it.<br \/>\nI&#8217;ve just spent twenty minutes or so fighting with the iron and a pair of trousers that I need to wear tomorrow night. And, I&#8217;m sorry, but I&#8217;ll be looking slightly creased in them. I tried everything &#8211; a higher temperature, using the steam function, spraying the trousers with a light spray of clean water &#8211; everything, all to no effect. I think all I have achieved is to rearrange the creases in a different pattern. Still, I might score 6.0 for artistic impression.<br \/>\nSo, if and when I find myself a girlfriend, I hope she will be understanding and pitch in with the ironing. I&#8217;m happy to do any of the other chores &#8211; cleaning the bath, scrubbing the loo, cooking every single meal (I&#8217;d wash my hands before doing that). Just please relieve me of the ironing so that once, just once, I could go out looking as though my clothes haven&#8217;t been kept screwed up in a ball at the foot of my bed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why I Need A Girlfriend (or maybe a domestic help) (number 390346934897 in a series): Ironing. I need someone to do my ironing. It&#8217;s not that I don&#8217;t like ironing. I actually quite enjoy it &#8211; it has a gently therapeutic quality. But I am crap at it. I&#8217;ve just spent twenty minutes or so [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-old-blogging"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/grayblog.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1909","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/grayblog.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/grayblog.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grayblog.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grayblog.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1909"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/grayblog.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1909\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/grayblog.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grayblog.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grayblog.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}