Author: graybo

today I’m feeling less “Monday” and more “Tuesday”, which may be related to the fact that I slept very soundly last night (apart from waking up after yet another bizarre dream, the details of which are fuzzy) and that the sun is shining. However, I am definitely a long way from having that “Friday” feeling.
for those that don’t know, Tuesdayness is a slightly toned down version of feeling crap on a Monday.

feeling very Monday-ish this morning. Apart from a few high points (beer last night and Friday, lunch yesterday and Saturday), the weekend was unremittingly crap. I am so tired and in need.

beers last night in the company of Paul F, Bruno, Aris and Claudette. Topics for discussion included:
– the internet
– web design
– marketing strategies
– working from home
– Grayblog
– narcolepsy and agoraphobia
A mixed bag, I think you’ll agree.

sound advice, I’m sure, but in Chichester there is little choice. Unless you’ve booked your black cab (actually about a third of them are red) around seven to ten years in advance of actually needing it, you won’t get one. And since my fair city is the home of the world’s oldest private carriage company, at least you feel that the cab operators are experienced.

bearing in mind that I will be “celebrating” my 30th birthday just three months from tomorrow (that’s the 12th of May – gorrit?), I’ve been busy updating my Amazon wishlist – of course, there is no obligation upon readers blah blah blah….

Mum and Dad have been here for most of the day. Dad has installed the last of my new light fittings (although one of them broke, which was slightly alarming (they cost £50 each) – but we’ve effected a repair which we shall finish next week probably) and we all went for lunch at The Vestry, which is really very good.
Other than that, I’ve been reading through my new HTML4 reference book which is actually proving to be quite useful, and is, in the words of one Amazon reviewer moving me from “moderate status to advanced”, which is nice. Actually, I’m considering learning a scripting language in order to expand my knowledge and ability at web design, and I know a couple of folks in that trade read this site from time-to-time. So any tips? I was wondering what might be the most useful language for me to learn (bearing in mind my limited resources of time and cash) and what opinons or hints anyone might have.

I’m shattered. This emotional rollercoaster is hard work. Last night was really hard work, filled as I was with the feeling of being loved and also the feeling of not being loved, by various people. My friends were, as usual, absolutely fantastic. I’ve found over the past few weeks who the really good friends truly are, and I’ve also found a few new friends too.
But the hurt is deep, and I’m going to need time to heal.
Right now, though, I think I’ll take a snooze before heading down the bar later for a quiet pint.

a night filled with:
– good friends
– good company
– pain
– tears
– heartache
– a glimmer of hope

god knows what the future holds. I used to think that there could be stability and you could at least plan vaguely, but now I know that isn’t true and, for me at least, can never be true. all I know is that the feeling of massive change is still surrounding me, and I really don’t know how to deal with it. just take it as it comes I guess. I wish someone was here to hold me and tell me I’m doing the right thing.

Very, very sad indeed.

most regretted bit of the last 24 hours: not talking to that nice girl with the black hair and pretty smile who was stood by the kitchen door in W2 last night. not that seeing someone new at the moment would be a good idea at all, as I’m still all tied up inside over the one that went before. did a few cathartic things in the last 24 hours though, and managed not to cry about them until this morning – which is good in a funny kinda way.