Wedding woe

Hels and I have, jointly and independently, been on the receiving end of some moaning and complaining lately, as well as not a little pressure. This pressure concerns people who have not been invited to our wedding or to the stag and hen events.
Firstly, to deal with the stag and hen events. These events were both only ever intended to be low-key events for closest friends – an opportunity to get together for some food and drink, followed by some silly dancing in a cheesy club (both the hen and the stag are following a similar formula). We never wanted to have a huge event with gazillions of alcohol-fuelled people, some of which we don’t know well. I’m happy that what we’ve got planned will be just right, not just a riot.
In the case of the wedding, the event is already considerably bigger than we had originally planned. We will have over one hundred guests in attendance, far more than we would really like. Besides, we are picking up a large chunk of the bill ourselves, and our resources are limited – the budget currently exceeds the original estimate by more than thirty percent. So we have had to draw the line, which means that some friends and not a few family members will not be in attendance.
Please don’t think that we do not want these people to be there. It has just got to the stage where it is as much as we can cope with. We are both tired and run down with the planning for the wedding, combined with the house moving and everything else (such as the other everyday things we have to do, like holding down busy and sometimes stressful jobs) – this is something that we almost resent, as this should be the happiest time of our lives (though we are more happy than you could possibly imagine, trust me!).
But please accept that it is our wedding. Our day. And we would like it to be something along the lines that we would like. We think we’re achieving that (thanks to help and support from many people), and we’re both looking forward to it.

16 Replies to “Wedding woe”

  1. On grounds of pedantry and wrong impressions, I should point out that I think it should be “Our resources are limited” or “Our resources are not unlimited”.

  2. Getting the guest list right is always a problem, someone is always going to be offended. But it’s your day so bugger ’em.

  3. A friend of ours is going through the same, from a ‘quiet day with close family and a few friends’ they are now 50 odd during the day and 150 odd at night. Of course you’ll NEVER be able to do the ‘right thing’ by everyone, but your true friends will understand and just be happy for the two of you.

  4. In my dim and distant past, I had a similar experience – it’s impossible to please everyone, and it seems that it’s the nearest and dearest, who damn well ought to understand, who appear to forget that it’s YOUR day, and it should be arranged to please you. My dad actually negotiated the amount of contribution he made on the basis of which of his family members I invited.

    I do think you should have a bloggers stag party, though.

  5. Karen: the situation with your father From Many Years Ago™ sounds very very familiar.
    As for a bloggers stag party – maybe I’ll have one after the wedding and the move. Perhaps even a Bloggers In The Countryside event at our new abode, although it is truly in the middle of nowhere, and might prove a challenge to get to.

  6. something about only being able to please some of the people some of the time and not being able to please all the people ever – comes to mind. Take heart in the fact that you are pleasing family and a great deal of your friends……………………….. see you Saturday!!

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