Never mind all the feeble speculation in the media about who should be the next Who (I favour Moira Stewart, or maybe my father in law – or both), the question we should be asking is this – who will be the next Pope?
I’d love to have a go at a job like that. Firstly, I’d issue a few papal edicts for a bit of a laugh – things such as "the pious shall hop on their left foot on Tuesdays" and "the Lord favours those who wear blue socks". But, after that, I’d dismantle the whole ridiculous edifice and give the accumulated wealth that the Catholic church possesses to those who really need it.
What would you do if you were in the Papal shoes?

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