I keep having the most

I keep having the most horrible thoughts. The ones that go: “have they slept together yet?” “have they been out together?” “where did they go?” “what did they do?”
I know these thoughts are not helping, but I can’t stop them – I push them out of mind and they just find their way back in when I’m not looking.

Another thought which I’ve been pondering for the last few days is the position that my poor friends find themselves in. They have all been brilliant and really supportive, and can totally understand how and why I feel like I do. But equally they are caught between a rock and a hard place at the moment. I don’t envy them at all.

I still haven’t told my parents the whole story – they don’t know about the Kev element yet. I’ll have to, somewhen.