Open question: if your boss (use your imagination if you don’t have a boss) refused to honour a verbal agreement that he had made with you, and made this refusal clear in an embarrassing manner in front of your colleagues, and generally gave you little or no support and acted like a total arsehole, what would you do? Consider also that you have little recourse to anyone more senior than your boss because he acts in an autonomous manner within the particular company location where you are employed, and that the second-in-command is very much in league with him.
Also consider that you can not reasonably throw in the towel as the job is quite well paid and you do not believe that you could easily find an equivalent position elsewhere. Consider further that the cumulative stress inherant with the current situation is having an adverse impact on your health.

7 Replies to “Stress”

  1. If you don’t want to leave then you have to make sure that this won’t happen again and that your boss is aware of your feelings.

    So, arrange a meeting and explain why you’re unhappy with what happened.
    And, to ensure it doesn’t happen again, insist on stuff in writing next time.

    If the situation is so bad you can’t do the above, then you have to ask yourself if it really is worth staying.

  2. You (I’m sure it’s not actually you having the problems!) will know next time that his word is worth very little, fore-warned is fore-armed!

    Try to keep the lines of communication open if you can manage it. A sensible, informal one-to-one conversation with the guy might go a long way to smooth things out if you can resist playing the blame game. Try to remain positive, you’ve done well to get where you are today, take a moment to remind yourself of that.

    Other members of staff may be feeling the same as you, put the feelers out discreetly, it’s good to have someone who understands the situation and will be willing to listen for 5 minutes when you need it. Be careful not to “go off on one” to another member of the team unless you know you can trust them, some people will use anything to gain advantage in the workplace.

    Above all, remember that your life is what happens outside of work, if your job is having a negative effect on it then you need to start making changes.

    Chin up!

    Steve (Been there, done that!)

  3. Sound advice so far. It isn’t me or my boss, by the way, but I’m helping to try and find a way forward with the situation.

  4. Scratch his car, puncture his tyres and get a couple of heavies to give him a kicking. He sounds like he won’t listen to reason.

  5. No job is worth having if it has long term adverse effects on your health. It doesn’t sound like this guy is going to get any better, and if he gets away with it this time, he’ll go on doing it.

    It’s time to start thinking about looking for another job. ‘You do not believe that you could easily find an equivalent position elsewhere’ is often the sort of thing we tell ourselves to cover our unconscious fear of change. If one company / organisation is willing to pay you at a certain level, there’s no reason in principle why someone else will. Working with some people can lower your confidence and expectations; you’ll often be pleasantly surprised by how outsiders see you.

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