Giant potato salad! Enormous kebab! – more random phrases for Lord Percy to add to the comments.
Incidentally, do readers-at-large think Lord Percy (a.k.a. Greg, a.k.a. Lordy Lordy) is Tourettic? Lady Bren suggested this in the pub a couple of weeks ago.
Perhaps using the good old Touretteaphone or Buffy Swearing Keyboard would help him get it out of his system (not safe for work, obviously).
separating the wanted from the unwanted