Why I Need A Girlfriend (or maybe a domestic help) (number 390346934897 in a series):
Ironing. I need someone to do my ironing. It’s not that I don’t like ironing. I actually quite enjoy it – it has a gently therapeutic quality.
But I am crap at it.
I’ve just spent twenty minutes or so fighting with the iron and a pair of trousers that I need to wear tomorrow night. And, I’m sorry, but I’ll be looking slightly creased in them. I tried everything – a higher temperature, using the steam function, spraying the trousers with a light spray of clean water – everything, all to no effect. I think all I have achieved is to rearrange the creases in a different pattern. Still, I might score 6.0 for artistic impression.
So, if and when I find myself a girlfriend, I hope she will be understanding and pitch in with the ironing. I’m happy to do any of the other chores – cleaning the bath, scrubbing the loo, cooking every single meal (I’d wash my hands before doing that). Just please relieve me of the ironing so that once, just once, I could go out looking as though my clothes haven’t been kept screwed up in a ball at the foot of my bed.