Thank you for calling British

Thank you for calling British Gas. I am sorry, but due to a very high demand for our services, all our agents are busy at the moment. If you have a ServiceCover contract, please refer to your membership documentation for your priority contact telephone number. If you are reporting a gas emergency, please call Transco on 0800 111 999.

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grrr. fume. seethe. not even put in a ****ing queue!

UPDATE: still getting the brush-off message. It appears you can register at the gas website house.co.uk and request an engineer appointment there – assuming that you can actually get the registration procedure to function. grrr again.
All I want for Christmas is hot water. At this rate, I may be forced to decamp to another abode. At least the heating still works (famous last words).
Maybe I’d have more success in Colombia?