I don’t get it with

I don’t get it with these dodgy geezers than run off with teenage girls. (Actually, it would probably be more worrying if I did get it!). Why do they always head for Scotland? Granted, Scotland has large areas of sparsely inhabited countryside, and you’d think that would make a great place to hide, but the reality is that anyone that is out of the ordinary sticks out like a sore thumb. You’d probably be better off hiding in Birmingham or London or some other place where nobody talks to their neighbours, and where "unusual" relationships are more tolerated and more commonplace.