I subscribe to a daily

I subscribe to a daily horoscope service (yes, I know, saaaaad). Here is the prediction for today:
“Clear the road and keep an eye out for the steamroller. Street cleaning is about to occur with little to no warning. In fact, there may be a whole construction crew out to repave the roadway. It is likely that the detour takes you off of your usual path. Only stop or go when the sign spins in your favor. Events beyond your control are about to flatten everything in their path. Prepare yourself by partaking in the purchase of a hard hat. Hold onto your money at least until after the dust has settled.”
Muh? Interpretations welcome.